And then it came to me, like an epiphany...

...none of my friends take me seriously.  I truly believe they don't think any of the plans I've talked about will come to fruition, they never want to make any plans to go out with me because they think I'll flake out on them, mostly, I think they think that I will live with my parents and remain broke for the rest of my life.  This breaks my heart.  Yes, I was flaky for a long time, but I worked consistently for three years, am now currently back in school and have sensible, well-thought out goals for my future.  How long do I have to suffer for past flakiness?  Not only does this hurt my feelings, it pisses me off.  I feel judged, there have been times where I didn't understand my friends decisions and life choices, but I've always supported them and I just feel completely unsupported.  I'm not getting what I need and it's my fault.  I've set up my friendships to be one-sided and now, how are you going to change the way you interact with someone after twenty years?  I think I just need to take a step back, get myself together (because, oh, this is some motivating shit) and re-enter the scene much closer to the person I want to be.