Yes, I'm still alive

...but I'm barely living. I haven't written anything in two weeks! It's not that my muse has deserted me, I'm just being lazy! I need to get over myself because I want to write for a living, but it's never gonna happen if I keep getting in my own way. How do I keep myself away from me?

Why, hello there

Had a great start today, worked out, wrote (not much), watched a movie w/the parental units, overall I feel like I had a successful, productive day. Now, I'm going to do a second work out (I love you, cardio!) and then hunker down and try to get some real writing done. My mind's kinda been all over the place, so I'm hoping after the second work out, I'll be able to focus and get a good three to four pages written in the novel and pick up the last short story I was writing (months ago, now, eek) and see what that's looking like. Then get some reading done (I'm trying for two books this week) and then sleep, hopefully to do it all over again tommorrow, just much more efficiently!

Hello, Me

So, I guess I'm still me. Still hibernating, still not trying anything to get me out of my comfort zone. I would really love to not disappoint myself, but how does one get out of oneself? I'm tired of being afraid. How does one outrun fear of themselves?

Wherefore art thou, absent muse?

I haven't written anything in two weeks. I feel like I'm all out of words. How can I get out of this funk? I miss the very act of writing, being creative. How does one go about actively looking for inspiration? Do I watch my favorite movies? Listen to my favorite music? Re-read my favorite books? I don't know, but tommorrow, I'm going to actively work on figuring it out!

New month, new beginnings

I've decided that December is going to be the month of, wait for it, AWESOME (why yes, I have been obsessively watching 'How I Met Your Mother'). Meaning, that I'm going to try and be adventurous, do things that I've always been too scared to do. And that pretty much means every and anything. It's a strange business, stepping out your front door (thanks, Bilbo!) and I intend on getting caught up in life! I'm tired of being afraid to put myself out there, I'm just going to have to get a new way of dealing with rejection, because avoiding it has meant that I've avoided living the life I was meant to have. So, here's to new things, new people, new sights, a new life. I'm excited, I haven't felt this way in a long time.

The Working Writer

So today marks the second week of NaNoWriMo and the first week was ROUGH. I barely wrote three pages, inspiration not coming easily. I had spent weeks excited at the prospect of starting my novel, I felt I finally had an idea that I could see to the end, but I had a frustrating first day (thanks for that world) that I just couldn't seem to recover from last week. But I feel rejuvenated and I spent all afternoon working on "the novel" (I do have a title that I absolutely love, simple and to the point) and I hit the daily goal I set for myself and that feels remarkably good. There are things I know I want to change already, but I'm trying something different this go around, instead of editing as I write, I'm just gonna go with the words that end up on my page until the bitter end. I've never truly had a rough draft, when I felt I was finished with a piece that ended up being the only draft because of the major overhauls I'd made during the writing of it, but I want to see if this way of writing will allow me to be easier on myself during the actual work of writing. Here's to a new way of doing an old endeavour!

New World Order

It is the third week of my layoff and I feel I have acquitted myself well. Oh, there has been lots of lazing about and eating, but I feel like I've made real in-roads on my writing. I can see my collection of short stories really taking shape and I'm going to participate in NanoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, which starts November first, and I'm extremely excited about that. I have an idea that I love and I feel I can sustain for 50,000 words (the goal) and I'm actually itching to start but I'm going to wait until the first, so it won't feel like I'm cheating. I feel excited and rejuvenated, so much to the point that I'm trying to plot a way I can do this until I'm finished with my collection of stories (ideally I'd like ten) and my novel is finished and ready to be published. How do writers get paid to write? That's the dream, the dream I've been too scared to fully pursue, because what if I failed? What if I found out I wasn't good enough? What if I was good enough and still no one was interested? But enough with that, I'm ready to take a risk, ready to finally live. I never knew that having a purpose felt quite like this. I feel amazing and I hope it transfers to how I treat other people because I want everyone to feel as good as I do. This moment is beautiful, this moment is all I have.